Category Archives: GICEIVED BLESSINGS

Blessings you have received when Giceiving without an agenda.

THE LAW OF LOVE

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What is the law of love? I believe the law of love is the truth that what I give another I also give to myself. This agrees with the commonplace observation that giving benefits the giver. Yet the law of love far exceeds that common idea, in two crucial ways.

First, it makes the connection between giving and receiving a lawful one. We tend to hope that giving will benefit the giver, because we have often observed that to be true. Yet if this is a law, then hoping my giving will benefit me is like hoping that a rock I throw in the air will come back down to earth. We don’t hope that a law of nature will still work the next time; we assume it as a matter of course.

Second, it means that this law is operating in regard to everything we do. When I give my brother love, that is my gift to me. When I give him attack, that is my gift to me. When I ignore him and act like he doesn’t exist, that, too, is my gift to me. Just as gravity operates on all objects, regardless of size, shape, or mass, so the law of love operates on all interpersonal acts, regardless of their quality.

The fact that the law of love is a law that operates all the time, without exceptions, makes it quite distant from that commonplace observation that giving benefits the giver. For we hear that and then turn around and think, “Then I guess my occasional gifts will probably—hopefully—make me happier.” Rather, we should be thinking, “Everything I give will return to me as lawfully as objects thrown upward return to the ground. Therefore, the way to find happiness is to continually throw love ‘upward’ to others, so that by God’s gravity it constantly falls back down on me. I want love to shower down on me. I don’t want rotting garbage to splat down on my face.”

One way to think of this is in terms of our personal treasure house. A treasure house, of course, is a house where treasure is stored. I doubt, however, that any of us have a literal building in which we store literal treasure. Yet we may still have our own kind of treasure house. Maybe it’s our office, with our degrees, awards, certificates, and photos with important people on the wall. Maybe it’s our personal library, our collection of treasured books. Maybe it’s our actual house, which we have spent years carefully decorating and filling with mementos. Quite obviously, it may be our bank account. Or maybe it’s more intangible. Perhaps it’s a collection of cherished memories. Perhaps it’s a stockpile of future fantasies.  Please take a moment and ask yourself honesty, “What is my treasure house?”  The problem with this treasure house is that, in all but rare cases, it’s all about us. It’s my stuff, which in turn makes a statement about me. But is that really a problem? Isn’t that, rather, the essence of happiness? Isn’t that what makes our storehouse so precious to us?

Think about your treasure house and see if it’s not all about you. For instance, if you imagine it being co-owned by you and many others, doesn’t its value diminish in your eyes?  Also, ask yourself which would make you happier: That lots of people were deeply impressed by your treasure house, and heaped accolades on you for it, or that lots of people were genuinely blessed and helped by it, without ever knowing it was you who helped them?

Let’s face it, most treasure houses are seen as valuable because we own them and because they make a statement about us. They are temples to our separate self. That’s what makes them seem so wonderful and what makes us so obsessed with them.  And yet that is precisely what makes them empty. Can you see the truth in this with regard to your treasure house? Has it truly filled you up, so that your fullness makes you constantly at rest within and constantly radiating joy without? Or has it left you empty, hungry, grasping, desperate for that next morsel, and wondering where the one after that will come from?

If the latter, then how valuable can your treasure be? Maybe it’s not really treasure at all. Imagine, then, approaching your treasure house, well-tended and securely locked, and opening the door. Now imagine looking inside and for the first time seeing the worthlessness of what is there. Realize you stored there some shiny pebbles that you thought were real gold, along with a pile of snow you thought was real silver. Thus, where you thought you had hoarded silver and gold, you see now that all you have are some wet pebbles. Your treasure house is actually a house of illusions. In truth, it is just empty space. And all the satisfaction you think you derive from it is just as empty.

This is actually predicted by the law of love. For this treasure house is a case of non-giving. Rather than giving, it’s a case of saving, trying to save what you desired for yourself alone. To use my earlier metaphor, nothing was thrown up into the air, and so, naturally, nothing came back.  This may seem to leave you poor indeed, but, thankfully, this is not your real treasure house. You have another one, and it does contain real treasure. What is that real treasure? It is the gifts your brothers have given you in response to the love you have given them. This love is also a gift of forgiveness, for love, to be itself, must brush aside all those things that would diminish it. It must overlook as unimportant all that would say that it shouldn’t love. And that brushing aside so that love can be itself, that overlooking, is forgiveness.

This treasure house is not so well-tended, is it? Yet it contains the real treasure in your life. It contains the love from others that was the natural response to the love you gave. In many cases, you hardly noticed you were giving love. Likewise, in many cases, you hardly noticed the love that was given back. Yet in other cases, that love was one of the most precious experiences you ever had, and you have kept it tucked away in a sacred drawer in your mind, a drawer you occasionally open so you can have another glimpse of that treasured moment of sublime love.

That drawer is your real treasure house. There is so much more in that drawer than you realize. For despite all your egotism and self-centeredness, your brothers have been making trips there, often unnoticed by you, to deposit the love they are returning to you. Not only is the number of treasures there greater than you realize, but the value of those treasures is greater as well. These are gifts more valuable than anything on this earth. They are more precious than money, or awards, or furniture, or anything else this world has to offer. They are the real gold and silver. They are as real as the other treasures were illusory. For they are Heaven’s treasures, which in the end are all truly lasts.

Just as the first treasure house was a case of the law of love at work—nothing was given and so nothing returned—so this second treasure house is a working of that same law. Only here, it is working in your favor: Love was thrown “upward” to your brothers, and so love landed back down on you.

And now you have a choice: Which treasure house do you want to tend? Which one do you want to spend your time filling? Which one do you want to open up and gaze on with joy? Which one do you want as your emotional anchor, the thing you gain strength and comfort from, just knowing it is there?

These questions come down to one simple question: Which treasure house really makes you happier? Really?

You can’t afford to make the wrong choice here. The stakes are too high. We are talking about your happiness. We are talking about the most important issue in your life. You can’t afford to make a lazy choice here, a choice that will feel comfortable but will just perpetuate your unhappiness. Therefore, because your happiness matters, because you matter, make the conscious choice, the wise choice, the choice that actually makes sense despite what all your habit-patterns are screaming at you. Which treasure house really makes you happier?

If you decide the second one does, then make today a day of cementing that choice in place. Make it a day in which, at long last, you learn the law of love.

Robert Perry is a teacher of the contemporary spiritual path A Course in Miracles. His writings can be found at www.circleofa.org. This article was inspired by Lesson 344 in the Workbook of A Course in Miracles.

TEACHING AND LEARNING

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I have heard that what you teach you get to learn.  That is the law of Giceiving in action. I find myself constantly acquiring information, giving it out and then really learning what I have taught.  Here’s an example of what I mean.
I was born and raised in Las Vegas by parents who appreciated the natural beauty of the surrounding Mojave Desert mountains, so much so that they would take my sisters and me hiking on weekends about twice a month. Seeing all of the wondrous plants and animals would spark much curiosity in me, but I wouldn’t find out what they were until much later. In school, we never really learned much about our desert, almost as if it wasn’t that important. But ever since then, my curiosity has led me to knowledge I find not only important but could possibly help people worldwide.
Desert knowledge is mostly held by the American Indian cultures that still live in it. Because most have been Americanized and therefore are steadily losing their cultures and languages, there is renewed interest in making sure the essentials don’t get lost forever. These include plant and animal knowledge, procurement of wild foods, and desert technologies. Although in the modern world this type of knowledge is less celebrated, these ancient ways of living are the foundation of any modern civilization and need to be preserved. Lucky for me, I found two very helpful introductory books on the desert lore of Las Vegas: Native Plants of Southern Nevada: an Ethnobotany, and Southern Paiutes: Legends, Lore, Language, and Lineage. Both books have taught me a lot about how life was before American domination, and I feel that if I was ever stranded out there in the desert, I might just be able to survive. But more than just surviving, I want to learn how to apply this new knowledge to my city lifestyle.
In the desert there are hidden gems. For instance, mesquite beans, when cooked right, are sweet as candy and taste almost like chocolate. Prickly pears aren’t the only cactus fruit you can eat, as all cactus fruit are edible, although some are tasteless, and the good tasting ones come in a wide range of flavors, from sour and lemony to sweet and tropical. Barrel cactus fruit are spineless, look like a small pineapple, and can be used as a sour vegetable in pickling; and the seeds, which are enclosed in one area of the fruit, can be ground up and substituted for or added to corn masa in making tortillas. Indian Fig pads are a Mexican vegetable, and Cholla flower buds are high in the nutrients that many industrially produced foods lack. Chia seeds, or “Jello of the desert,” make a refreshing addition to any fruit juice. Indian ricegrass produces a grain that is very high in fiber and protein. Amaranth seeds have certain proteins usually found only in meat, and can be popped like popcorn and made into confectionery treats.  Tepary beans, actually native to the Sonoran Desert, are a nuttier tasting substitution for pinto and kidney beans. But the best thing that all of these foods have to offer (besides the great new flavors) are their numerous healthful benefits. Almost all of them are very low on the glycemic index, and many of them release mucilage and soluble fibers that slow down the blood’s absorption of sugars and starches, preventing blood sugar peaks. This makes them perfect foods for people with diabetes.
When I first started learning about the bounty of the desert, I would tell my family and friends about it, but hadn’t really gone out and picked these foods on my own. Well, about two years ago, I was visiting a friend who lives in Phoenix, Arizona, and who has diabetes. I noticed he had a few mesquite trees growing in his front yard and let him know some of the tidbits of information that I described above. He was very impressed, saying “whenever the mesquites would drop their pods, it was a hassle to get rid of them, but I never knew I was throwing away food!” From then on he started picking up mesquite pods and having me come over and sift out the bad ones. Then when I told him about the benefits of prickly pear fruit, he remarked how whenever he walks down the street, the cacti are always so full of fruit, but nobody ever picks them. From then on, he started asking his neighbors whether he could pick their cactus fruit. He had done something that at the time I was somehow unable to do: quickly apply practice to knowledge. I was talking about all of the wonders of native foods, while in reality I wasn’t actually eating them in preference to more unhealthy foods. What helped me change was seeing his satisfaction in eating tasty, healthy, and free food that came from a block away. Ever since then, I have learned how to procure and cook the bounty of the desert. By informing others as to the richness of the desert and its healthy food, I have acquired a healthier and more sustainable lifestyle in my desert city.
By Bobby

Heaven is Near

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My stepdad, who lit my mother’s world with love like she had never known, lay dying. I went to Florida to be by his side and help my mom with all that needed to be done and offer whatever strength and love I could. As we sat by his bedside at home, day after day, I was grateful to hold his hand even though he wasn’t conscious. I felt a part of him knew I was there. I was guided to sing to him. Gentle songs flowed through that connected our hearts to one another. In these times heaven seemed so near. The quiet brought an awareness of the sacredness of the moment and though I went to help him and my mom, the gifts I received during this precious time were without measure. I could sense a new world ushering him in. It felt peaceful, beautiful. I was honored to be present as he crossed this threshold to his new life. Strangely enough, even though he was dying, life felt expanded. Something in my heart told me there is more to life that what we can see. I felt a profound love permeate the room. I hadn’t gotten to be present when my own father died. He died alone in a hospital room in the middle of the night. Getting this chance to be with my stepdad was such a gift. It was a privilege to be there for him in his final hours and he in turn was there for me, opening my heart to a whole new world. Thank you, Herb , for this most precious gift. In those miraculous two weeks I got to see on such a deep level that giving truly is receiving.

Abundance in the Desert

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Having lived in big cities for most of my life, I sometimes feel a disconnect from Nature, as though it is located somewhere outside city limits, which is where I normally become aware of it.  We know, of course, that Nature is an integral part of us, our very source of physical survival.  Our life force and its life force are intertwined, and we exert maximal influence over each other.  Many of us are aware that praying over, meditating on, or blessing our gardens produces healthier plants.  In other words, we give our love and Nature returns the favor by giving us sustenance.  I was privileged to see this Giceiving principle in action when I visited a Hopi family.  My son and I had been at a sustainable living conference where a Hopi fellow asked for help in planting corn since his father was over 70, had diabetes and there were only three men to plant a few acres by hand.  Although there were over 100 people at the conference, only my son and I showed up to help.  We had gotten up at 4:00 a.m., traveled almost two hours into Hopiland across the amazing painted desert, and when we got to their area, we got a little lost because we were told to turn right at the rock that looked like Three Elders.  This was really outside city limits!  After breakfast, we were driven to an area nearby where there was beautiful red rock and somewhat sandy soil.  We were told that two weeks prior they had opened up a small dam to irrigate the area but that that would the only water they would have, other than rain.  It happened to be a year of drought.  I was given the assignment of giving each man exactly five kernels of their sacred blue corn to be planted.  The men would kneel down, use a pick to push the earth back, gently place in the kernels, and cover the hole with their hands.  Every few minutes they would stand up with arms outstretched to the sky and say to Mother Nature, “kwakwha,” which is how Hopi men say “thank you.”  These were very moving moments for me as I saw and heard the gratitude they have for Nature.  My son and I returned for the harvest and because of the drought, it was half of what it was the year before.  Their attitude remained one of gratitude as they drove back home with their bounty where the women were also appreciative and happy to see what had been gathered.  I can now understand how our Native brothers can be sustained by dry farming the sandy soil of the desert–it is the Giceiving of appreciation and gratitude between them and Nature!

A Mother’s Gift

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My mother was not much of a gift giver on birthdays or Christmas, but I received from her something so valuable that it keeps on giving and being received by my own children.  At the age of seven, she brought me from a single-culture environment to the multicultural city of New York.  She didn’t want to live in Spanish Harlem as our family did, but instead she chose an Italian neighborhood, then a Black neighborhood, a Jewish neighborhood and, after I was an adult myself, finally moved to be with “her people.”  If she could have managed it, we probably would have moved to a Chinese neighborhood because every Saturday we would eat at a Chinese restaurant.  Her love for other cultures was giving me an education in being open minded and getting along with others who were “different.”  From the very beginning, she admonished me that if I was ever invited to eat at a friend’s home and their food was different from ours, I must never disrespect my host by refusing to eat.  Luckily, all of my friends’ mothers were fantastic cooks!  Honoring other cultures was something she ingrained in me.  In college, I was blessed to have four amazing girlfriends from different backgrounds (Black, Jewish, Irish and Greek), and never did it enter my mind that there were any differences among us.  We were truly like sisters.  By giving honor and acknowledgment, I received a sense of belonging.  It was then natural for me to pass this on to my children.  At the age of six our son, Bobby, started reading about Asian cultures.  (It must have been all that Japanese and Chinese food I was feeding him!)  At the age of seven, we enrolled him in a Japanese Saturday school where he was the only Anglo and remained there for ten years.  At the age of eight, he was regularly attending a Buddhist monastery and learning Pali, Thai, and Burmese–and, of course, enjoying their food.  He is loved and accepted as part of this community, acquiring that comforting feeling of belonging.  In college, he majored in Indigenous Studies, learning extensively about the Hopi and Navajo cultures and languages.  Honoring and acknowledging the people of other cultures has brought him many long-lasting relationships around the world. My gift from Bobby has been his teaching me “hello” and “thank you” in several languages. To experience the smiles, the astonished faces, and the connection that is made by saying even just one word in the language of someone far away from home is my greatest reward. Recently, we were at a restaurant sitting next to five Japanese women when Bobby suddenly turned towards them and spoke in fluent Japanese. There was a unified “Ah!” from all the women–their delight at finding an American who spoke Japanese clearly showed on their faces.  How easy it is to make people happy when we acknowledge their culture in some way!  The next morning we were having breakfast next to a Japanese couple and I noticed that they hadn’t gone to the counter to order their food.  I asked Bobby to tell them what they had to do. Their gratitude was visible and because they didn’t know much English, Bobby went with them to the counter to translate.  They were so delighted that they gave him their information and told him they would be happy to tour him around Tokyo.  This happens time after time.  The honor he gives other cultures returns to him in gratitude from others and their willingness to create friendships.

Then there’s our beautiful daughter, Melissa.  Her connection with Spirit started when she was very young and brought out in her both compassion and passion for helping those who are marginalized by society.  When she went to college in New York, as part of a class assignment, she went to Rikers Island (a prison colony) to help facilitate a class for incarcerated youth.  This is indeed a different culture, one which many choose to ignore.  There she found how to direct her passion and compassion: helping at risk children through education.  She tells of how her rewards are immediate as she sees a child find him/ or herself acknowledged as a precious human being who has a chance at life.  Of course, my joy is increased knowing that our daughter is Giceiving unconditional love and appreciation!

Seeing the law of Giceiving in simple every-day acts brings me the realization that being in its flow brings us all together.

 

 

Early Christmas Gift

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I was awakened last week with an order from God.  I was to put together a small Christmas tree for my mother. My mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s recently, but early signs began several years ago. Decorating her Christmas tree each year was something she looked forward to.  However, for the last four years, she has not even wanted to get the tree from her garage or allow anyone else to do this for her. I would try each year to no avail. So upon hearing that voice inside me (God), I followed it that very day. I am a caregiver and always have a longer break on Wednesday afternoons and it was a Wednesday…imagine that! At the first store I found just the ornaments I had in mind. My mother loves being outdoors in her garden. I found red/gold glittery butterflies, birds and pine cones. And she loves poinsettias… I found the perfect one for the top of the tree. Lastly I found a small very colorful smiling-face sun. The ornaments were complete and it was time to pick up the elderly man in my charge. I still was in need of a small tree so I asked if he minded I make a stop on the way back to his home, and he agreed. In fact, upon thanking him for the delay and his patience in waiting, he responded by saying, “It was the least I could do for all the things you do for me.”  Giceiving….
While he took a nap, I decorated the tree. When he awoke he told me it looked beautiful and he was sure my mother would like it. I delivered it to her that very evening even though it was two months before Christmas. She was so thrilled! She wanted it set up on an end table in her living room. After doing so, we sat together on her sofa admiring the tree. I noticed a branch was out of place and I got up to fix it.  As I did, on a shelf to the right was a red star with the word ‘LOVE’ in silver lettering. I had put that star on a Christmas package several years ago. I placed it inside the branches…thanking God for showing it to me…and returned to my  place on the sofa. Again, the two of us sat peacefully together, admiring the tree.  She suddenly turned to me and said, “Do not get me another Christmas gift, this is perfect! This tree is the perfect gift.”  For a few moments in time my mother was herself again…before the Alzheimer’s.  And for those moments, I was so grateful….my heart was ‘beating in happiness’. …Giceiving once again :)   Don’t you just LOVE it? :)