THE RESIDUE OF REGRET

Posted on October 8, 2012 by Mirkalice

She would be thirty-three years old now but, to me, she is still the seventeen-year old who kissed me goodbye that fateful night. It was a long time ago, but the memory of the night I lost my daughter remains painfully clear in my mind. In the first years of her absence, I regretted not being able to see her getting married or having children; not being able to see her accomplish what I thought was her destiny. It was all about my pain. But then my regret became that I did not understand what she was going through and could not be more helpful during those turbulent last years of her life. The generation gap between us was quite wide, and I took for granted that she would outgrow the choices that brought her so much pain. After her passing, the awareness of what had gone on in her life made me feel naive and out of touch with the “real world” of young people. I saw the lack of truthful communication between our generations as the cause of a separation that could not be bridged. After all, my attempts at open and honest communication with my child had failed. What had I missed?

I retained this uncomfortable perception for many years. As I would walk my dog by the school bus stop every morning, it seemed as though these young people would make every effort to disregard my very existence. They would look down as I approached, avoiding my glance, not responding to my greeting. I felt a huge gap between us. All this was to change one miraculous day last year. I was asked by Taylor Barton, a dear young man I had seen grow up, to volunteer at the Challenge Day program his foundation was sponsoring at a local high school. This program has been very effective in helping teens to stop bullying and in helping those who have been bullied. I had seen their success story on one of Oprah’s shows and wondered why the program wasn’t mandatory at every school.

That day I really had no expectations as I did not know what part I would play in the program, but I was definitely there to be of service. It wasn’t very long before I realized that my longing for honest communication with teens was about to be fulfilled. It was a life-changing experience for me. Although some boundaries in the use of words were set due to school rules, there were no boundaries as to content, and all communication was to be received without judgment. Ah! That’s what I had missed with my daughter–the “without judgment” part! There is a mindset of judgment that is not as obvious as the judgments we use to condemn. As a parent I had seen myself as the authority figure in my child’s life; loving and understanding perhaps, but definitely “knowing better.” That’s probably the biggest judgment that separates us not only from our children, but from every other human being. It is the giceiving of non-judgment that opens the door to full, clear and honest communication–a communication that brings about trust and connection.

That morning about thirty adults welcomed a hundred teens into the gymnasium with loud music, high fives, and great enthusiasm. We broke up into small groups and the communication began. We were to complete the sentence: “If you really knew me, you would know….” There was another facilitator in our group who wanted to share first but for some reason changed her mind and asked that I do so. I really did not know what I was to say, but looking around the circle at the young faces, I recalled how very young my daughter was when she passed. How could she possibly have known how to deal with the problems that confronted her in her young life? I then said, “If you really knew me, you would know I had a daughter your age who was killed in a car accident.” I then burst into tears and confessed how for years I had come to mistrust teens because of what my daughter had done but that now my heart just wanted to reach out to each of them. My honest emotion led these beautiful souls to expose their pain as well. The boy next to me shared that he had been in a gang and that after the killing of his friend, his family had moved so he could start a new life. It was still a struggle, but he wanted to be a good example for his younger brother. Beside him, a grieving girl spoke of her baby brother who had just died. The next girl told how her step-dad had left them and how she would rush home every day to comfort her young half-brother who missed his dad so much. The last girl spoke about how every day she wanted to commit suicide because she was overweight and her classmates bullied her. She then had to return home to parents who were addicts and who told her she would never amount to anything. Tears fell freely from all of us and we could feel the bonds forming.

The next exercise had all of us at one side of the room. We were asked to walk to the other side of the room if a statement pertained to us. As questions, such as– “Have you ever been abused by those who said they loved you? Have you been homeless or hungry? Have you wanted to commit suicide because someone bullied you? Has a friend or someone you know been killed? Have you lost someone you love? Have you or someone you know been bullied because of being gay?”–it became clear that each of us had had experiences of great pain. We all walked across that room many times, looked at each other, hugged and cried together. I am crying at this very moment because the depth of the pain in that room was as deep as the pain I had experienced with the death of my daughter. But it wasn’t left there. The facilitators were amazing in how they turned all that pain into an energy for healing. The teens were taking the microphone asking for forgiveness of those they had bullied. Friends who had parted because of misunderstandings embraced. All vowed to carry this message of healing to others. We recognized that judgment came from the differences we perceived in each other, and that healing comes from the compassionate understanding of how we all experience deep pain from feeling different and separate. We cried for six hours; first out of pain and then out of joy! The heart-to-heart bridge that was formed that day left no room for regrets in me. Now as I walk past the students at the bus stop and see those who will not look at me, I recognize there must be great pain in their lives and secrets they hold. I send them a silent blessing filled with God’s Love and pray that there will be many adults in their lives who will perceive them without judgment.

For Alison, who visited Earth on September 3, 1979 and went Home on October 31, 1996.

EXTREME GICEIVING

Posted on July 31, 2012 by Mirkalice

We are seeing the effect everywhere: tragedy. Can we as readily see the cause? I believe we can. It’s called insanity. I don’t mean the dictionary definition or the legal or medical definitions, I mean “insanity” as a thought system that contradicts itself–a way of thinking that claims it can harbor love and hate within the same mind: that we can love ourselves and our friends but hate those outside of our culture, race, nationality or even those who think differently than we do; that we can claim we are all Creations of a Loving Creator yet can still attack that Creation. Given this definition, I think we can agree that we are all insane—it’s just a matter of degree. Being insane is a drawback to healing ourselves. Have we had help? Oh, yes! Saints and saviors have led the way throughout the ages, but most of us are not interested in emulating their selfless lives which seem to smack of martyrdom. We would rather “heal” the madness with more madness–with anger against the offender and the killing of the murderer. We would rather drown out the divine directive to love our enemies and the commandment to love others as ourselves than lay down our arms so that we may embrace a different way of thinking. Is there an answer? Of course there is, and I actually have the audacity to propose that I can relate it to you in these paragraphs. Before you start thinking that my ego is showing, please understand that this is not MY answer. It is the answer of all of us who have searched for a better way and have found it through times of great pain as well as in every-day living. It IS the answer given by those who are more aware, enlightened or simply more loving than the rest of us. For me, it is the answer that has brought the only real peace I have experienced in my life. It is the extreme giceiving of Love. This type of giceiving of Love may appear extreme to most of us because it overrides the contradictory sides of our thinking as it flows equally over friend or foe from the very center of our being, from our Heart. When unleashed, it performs miracles.

When we don’t have time to think, the Heart can open and that Love can sweep through our minds and connect us with our fellow human beings in a way that is not only loving but sacred. We have seen the power of this release of Love in the recent events in Aurora, Colorado. There is the young man who was wounded yet continued to help a woman and her daughter escape the theater unharmed. When asked how he felt about the shooter, he stated that he did not hate him because forgiveness is more powerful than revenge or resentment. His statement reminded me of Mark Twain’s definition of forgiveness:

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Then there is the father who shielded his injured son’s wounded girlfriend knowing full well he could be killed. We also know of several young people who lost or risked their own lives to save a friend, such as the thirteen-year-old girl who tried to save a little girl by putting pressure on the child’s wound with one hand and calling 911 with the other. How could this type of courage and wisdom come from such a young teen? Her pastor stated that she had always demonstrated a Servant’s Heart. Indeed, only the Heart can perform such heroic acts and know the power of extending forgiveness. The human mind, on the other hand, sees the carnage, declares war and seeks to protect itself without regard to others. It sees no other way out when Love is absent.

But the giving of Love is not to be limited to those with whom we feel connected. The Divine Love within the Heart also seeks to embrace those whom we see as monsters, the evil doers. This is where most of us draw the line. We see no reason to extend Love to the murderer, perhaps because it makes us think that we are condoning the act. But this is not so. The purpose of Divine Love is to heal that which appears beyond our ability to heal. Can you imagine how much healing would take place if we were to heal those who wish to harm us? What indeed does it profit us to love those who love us? The word “profit” is a word of great interest in our society. If we were told of the incredible growth, peace, feeling of wholesomeness, awareness of fulfilling a divine function, the contribution to the healing of the world that is the “profit” of extending Love to the “unlovable,” we would not hesitate to do so.

For many years a dear friend of mine and I have been given the assignment of extending Love to many high profile “monsters.” I say these assignments are given us because it is not as if my friend and I are looking around the world to find people who may be doing wrong and then target them for Love! What happens for me is that I become aware of the individual, and God takes it from there. You may think that these assignments from the Divine must be very difficult tasks, but I can tell you without hesitation that it is not so. They are the easiest tasks I have ever undertaken. The Divine knows what we are suited for, gives us the assignment, and then does it through us. What happens next is that all judgment or condemnation that I may have towards this “monster” is simply washed away and only the Love remains. My mind still understands the facts and the practicality of restraining these Creations of the Divine, but continues to FEEL this incredible Love. The “profit” of which I spoke then fills my being and I know I am Loved as well.

Perhaps I have interested you in signing up for these Divine assignments and may wonder what you need to do. Just be willing—willing to open up your Heart and extend a Love beyond your understanding; willing to be part of the healing of God’s Creation; willing to be “out there” where few humans have ever gone before! So how do we become willing to do something that may be so alien to us? We start by removing the blocks to the awareness of Love’s presence. What I am personally doing right now is continuing to search for where I may still have love-hate relationships; where I may be seeking for peace yet still attacking or defending; where I may claim to believe in a Divine Presence yet be full of doubt; where I may be seeking to know Truth yet lying to myself or others. I’m determined to find all my blocks. Having claimed them, I can then give them to God to dissolve for me. I have come to know that God is not a thief and will not take from me what I don’t willingly give up. My insane mind cannot heal itself. I must ask that powerful, loving Presence that is God to finish the job. What then can possibly stop the healing of my mind… or yours… or theirs? Absolutely nothing! I hope you will join me in this “Great Crusade.”

THE LAW OF LOVE

Posted on April 16, 2012 by guest

What is the law of love? I believe the law of love is the truth that what I give another I also give to myself. This agrees with the commonplace observation that giving benefits the giver. Yet the law of love far exceeds that common idea, in two crucial ways.

First, it makes the connection between giving and receiving a lawful one. We tend to hope that giving will benefit the giver, because we have often observed that to be true. Yet if this is a law, then hoping my giving will benefit me is like hoping that a rock I throw in the air will come back down to earth. We don’t hope that a law of nature will still work the next time; we assume it as a matter of course.

Second, it means that this law is operating in regard to everything we do. When I give my brother love, that is my gift to me. When I give him attack, that is my gift to me. When I ignore him and act like he doesn’t exist, that, too, is my gift to me. Just as gravity operates on all objects, regardless of size, shape, or mass, so the law of love operates on all interpersonal acts, regardless of their quality.

The fact that the law of love is a law that operates all the time, without exceptions, makes it quite distant from that commonplace observation that giving benefits the giver. For we hear that and then turn around and think, “Then I guess my occasional gifts will probably—hopefully—make me happier.” Rather, we should be thinking, “Everything I give will return to me as lawfully as objects thrown upward return to the ground. Therefore, the way to find happiness is to continually throw love ‘upward’ to others, so that by God’s gravity it constantly falls back down on me. I want love to shower down on me. I don’t want rotting garbage to splat down on my face.”

One way to think of this is in terms of our personal treasure house. A treasure house, of course, is a house where treasure is stored. I doubt, however, that any of us have a literal building in which we store literal treasure. Yet we may still have our own kind of treasure house. Maybe it’s our office, with our degrees, awards, certificates, and photos with important people on the wall. Maybe it’s our personal library, our collection of treasured books. Maybe it’s our actual house, which we have spent years carefully decorating and filling with mementos. Quite obviously, it may be our bank account. Or maybe it’s more intangible. Perhaps it’s a collection of cherished memories. Perhaps it’s a stockpile of future fantasies. Please take a moment and ask yourself honesty, “What is my treasure house?” The problem with this treasure house is that, in all but rare cases, it’s all about us. It’s my stuff, which in turn makes a statement about me. But is that really a problem? Isn’t that, rather, the essence of happiness? Isn’t that what makes our storehouse so precious to us?

Think about your treasure house and see if it’s not all about you. For instance, if you imagine it being co-owned by you and many others, doesn’t its value diminish in your eyes? Also, ask yourself which would make you happier: That lots of people were deeply impressed by your treasure house, and heaped accolades on you for it, or that lots of people were genuinely blessed and helped by it, without ever knowing it was you who helped them?

Let’s face it, most treasure houses are seen as valuable because we own them and because they make a statement about us. They are temples to our separate self. That’s what makes them seem so wonderful and what makes us so obsessed with them. And yet that is precisely what makes them empty. Can you see the truth in this with regard to your treasure house? Has it truly filled you up, so that your fullness makes you constantly at rest within and constantly radiating joy without? Or has it left you empty, hungry, grasping, desperate for that next morsel, and wondering where the one after that will come from?

If the latter, then how valuable can your treasure be? Maybe it’s not really treasure at all. Imagine, then, approaching your treasure house, well-tended and securely locked, and opening the door. Now imagine looking inside and for the first time seeing the worthlessness of what is there. Realize you stored there some shiny pebbles that you thought were real gold, along with a pile of snow you thought was real silver. Thus, where you thought you had hoarded silver and gold, you see now that all you have are some wet pebbles. Your treasure house is actually a house of illusions. In truth, it is just empty space. And all the satisfaction you think you derive from it is just as empty.

This is actually predicted by the law of love. For this treasure house is a case of non-giving. Rather than giving, it’s a case of saving, trying to save what you desired for yourself alone. To use my earlier metaphor, nothing was thrown up into the air, and so, naturally, nothing came back. This may seem to leave you poor indeed, but, thankfully, this is not your real treasure house. You have another one, and it does contain real treasure. What is that real treasure? It is the gifts your brothers have given you in response to the love you have given them. This love is also a gift of forgiveness, for love, to be itself, must brush aside all those things that would diminish it. It must overlook as unimportant all that would say that it shouldn’t love. And that brushing aside so that love can be itself, that overlooking, is forgiveness.

This treasure house is not so well-tended, is it? Yet it contains the real treasure in your life. It contains the love from others that was the natural response to the love you gave. In many cases, you hardly noticed you were giving love. Likewise, in many cases, you hardly noticed the love that was given back. Yet in other cases, that love was one of the most precious experiences you ever had, and you have kept it tucked away in a sacred drawer in your mind, a drawer you occasionally open so you can have another glimpse of that treasured moment of sublime love.

That drawer is your real treasure house. There is so much more in that drawer than you realize. For despite all your egotism and self-centeredness, your brothers have been making trips there, often unnoticed by you, to deposit the love they are returning to you. Not only is the number of treasures there greater than you realize, but the value of those treasures is greater as well. These are gifts more valuable than anything on this earth. They are more precious than money, or awards, or furniture, or anything else this world has to offer. They are the real gold and silver. They are as real as the other treasures were illusory. For they are Heaven’s treasures, which in the end are all truly lasts.

Just as the first treasure house was a case of the law of love at work—nothing was given and so nothing returned—so this second treasure house is a working of that same law. Only here, it is working in your favor: Love was thrown “upward” to your brothers, and so love landed back down on you.

And now you have a choice: Which treasure house do you want to tend? Which one do you want to spend your time filling? Which one do you want to open up and gaze on with joy? Which one do you want as your emotional anchor, the thing you gain strength and comfort from, just knowing it is there?

These questions come down to one simple question: Which treasure house really makes you happier? Really?

You can’t afford to make the wrong choice here. The stakes are too high. We are talking about your happiness. We are talking about the most important issue in your life. You can’t afford to make a lazy choice here, a choice that will feel comfortable but will just perpetuate your unhappiness. Therefore, because your happiness matters, because you matter, make the conscious choice, the wise choice, the choice that actually makes sense despite what all your habit-patterns are screaming at you. Which treasure house really makes you happier?

If you decide the second one does, then make today a day of cementing that choice in place. Make it a day in which, at long last, you learn the law of love.

Robert Perry is a teacher of the contemporary spiritual path A Course in Miracles. His writings can be found at www.circleofa.org. This article was inspired by Lesson 344 in the Workbook of A Course in Miracles.

WHAT’S A SILVER DOLLAR WORTH?

Posted on February 7, 2012 by guest

A true silver dollar is hard to find these days. They have become collectors’ items. The Eisenhower Dollar, although technically not a silver one, is called a Silver Dollar because of its close resemblance to the real thing. So, what’s it worth? It can’t buy you a cup of coffee if you’re at Starbucks or most other places nowadays. You can’t put it in a slot machine. They only take paper money. It is legal tender, but a one dollar coin really doesn’t have much use today, even in Las Vegas.

However, to a local businessman its value has taken on a new meaning that is very special. What’s that you say? Well, it isn’t materialistic or numismatic. It’s actually something “money can’t buy”. But it’s also something that “ money can buy”. Give up? It’s joy! It’s happiness. It’s gratification. Even love. How can a Silver Dollar be such a panacea for the conflicts and stress we face and feel in today’s world?

To learn how it’s done, you only need to follow him around to observe him in action. “Him” is Bob. Quiet, shy, reserved. He’ll greet you with a smile, chat a bit and then extend his right hand. Your mind doesn’t know exactly what the gesture is about, but your right hand automatically extends to meet his. You haven’t seen anything in his hand so you’re surprised when something round and silvery slides into your palm, your fingers react by cupping it. Now your eyes are curious and look to see what it is that was mysteriously placed in your hand. It’s round and silver in appearance. It’s too big to be a quarter, looks about the same size as a fifty-cents piece but feels slightly heavier. Wait, is it a Silver Dollar? It is. “Wow,” you say, “I haven’t seen one of these things in a long time.” Then the emotions start rushing in.

In my case it was going way back in my memory bank to my grandfather, a kindly Jewish man who came from the old country to the Boston area. A business man, he owned and ran a hardware store in Quincy. I was his only grandchild and a granddaughter at that. We didn’t live nearby, but drove to be with him and my grandmother for Thanksgiving every year. I apprenticed to be a businesswoman under him. He issued me my first social security card at 7, carefully typing my name and some numbers on a piece of paper in his office on the second floor of his store that overlooked the entrance and floor of commerce below. When I was older I would take the train to Boston and transfer to a commuter line to Quincy and stay with them. Every morning I went to work with my grandfather and helped in a variety of jobs. He was a kind and loving man who made me feel special and loved.

When Bob hands you an Eisenhower dollar he will tell you it’s for good luck. But it’s really more than that. It’s a blessing from him. It’s something “special” and “loving”. But I haven’t told you about the other half of the coin, Bob’s reaction. Your smile, your amazement, your joy, your memories, your thanks. …they bring a special joy to Bob.

So what’s a Silver Dollar worth? A lot if you live in Las Vegas and happen to encounter Bob. It’s Bob’s hallmark, when you care enough to give the very best.

By Ellen

BEAUTIFUL CHILD

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Mirkalice

We were stopped at a red light on an unusually cold day. A young man and a little girl were crossing the street in front of us, and I noticed how her walk was so determined, so robust, trying to keep up with the long strides of her companion. It was only when my husband mentioned it that I realized the little girl was not wearing a coat and, in fact, was wearing a short sleeve shirt. In that instant, I immediately remembered an event that took place about a decade ago. During Christmas, our church had delivered gifts to a struggling family, including a very nice used coat for the little girl. Her eyes had lit up as she tried it on, but almost immediately she went into her room and grabbed her old coat. She rushed out the door and as we asked where she was going, she looked back and told us she was going to see her friend next door. Curious, we all followed after her and found that she was giving her old coat to her friend. For weeks, her friend had gone to school in the cold weather without a coat. What a joy it was to watch this little girl’s instant recognition of her friend’s need and her desire to fill it. This beautiful child’s generosity exemplifies that our innate behavior, our natural instinct is to giceive!

THE DOLLAR MAN

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Mirkalice

Every day, everywhere he goes his pockets are full of Eisenhower dollars ready to be given to just about anyone he meets. His goal is to bring out a smile and make a momentary yet memorable connection with people we often don’t acknowledge—waiters, cashiers, receptionists, tourists, people at the next table in a restaurant, those walking by us, business owners struggling during difficult times. He does not forget that family and friends can also feel taken for granted and that a sign of appreciation can lift their hearts. The Dollar Man, as he is called, is Bob and he happens to be my husband, the most generous person I know. For years I have witnessed people who are stressed, unhappy or just having a bad day light up, share a personal story, and give him heartfelt thanks. I have heard them exclaim with tears in their eyes how they will never forget him, how he has made their day better, how he has made a difference in their lives. Just the other day when we were visiting a doctor for the first time, the receptionist was very professional, which means that she was efficient yet somewhat detached as she worked through the papers we had filled out. Although she had glanced at us, there was no real connection…until Bob gave her the coin. Like most people, the first comment is, “What is this?” He then responds, “This is for you, for good luck.” As tears welled up in her eyes she recounted how her father had given her coins that she had saved for years and how those coins had disappeared, possibly stolen by a family member. It was apparent that this coin she now held in her hand brought back a wonderful memory of her father and eased some of the pain of that loss. It is really amazing how many people tell Bob that their fathers or grandfathers gave them these coins and how precious it is to recall that memory. This happens to be the case with our insurance agent who cries every time she receives a coin because it reminds her of her beloved grandfather. Then there is the owner of our favorite Korean restaurant. Her business has not been going well but every time Bob puts that coin in her hand, she give us many of those gracious Korean bows, expressing deep gratitude for his caring. She tells us that this “lucky” coin gives her hope for the future. To be able to give hope to someone by such a small gift is truly rewarding. However, I didn’t always feel that way. When my husband first started doing this many years ago, frankly, I was concerned about the cost and whether this special gift should be given out so freely, perhaps to someone who may not appreciate it. Not fully conscious of the law of Giceiving then, I did not recognize the joy Bob was experiencing when he let people know they mattered. I finally learned that lesson one morning while we were having breakfast at a restaurant and I happened to look over at the next table that was being cleaned off by an older employee. Her face had beautiful character lines that made me understand how hard she had worked her whole life and how much care she put into her work, including cleaning that table. My heart was moved to let her know how much I appreciated her, so I asked Bob for a coin. When I gave it to her it was as though we were connected heart to heart, and it was I who wanted to cry!

Through my Dollar Man I have learned that every day we have so many opportunities to gladden someone else’s life with gestures that say, “I see you. I acknowledge you and you matter.” In return, we receive something truly precious–a heartfelt connection with those who share this planet with us.

PS: If you are one of the hundreds of individuals who have been gladdened by the Dollar Man’s giving, please share your story with us.

Update on the Dollar Man: The doctor entered the room where Bob was being prepared for surgery carrying a small wooden box he said he always brought with him when he was operating. With a big smile he opened it up to show us all the “lucky charms” his patients had given him throughout the years. Of course, Bob’s contribution was right on top. The “lucky” dollar (not to mention the many prayers of those who know him) apparently did its job because the operation was such a success that Bob was well enough to be released the very next day. As he was getting ready to leave, the janitor peeked into the room and asked if Bob was leaving. When we said that he was, he stated, “What a shame. You’re going to be missed! You and your coins.” There was no way Bob would have gone to the hospital without his coins! His waking time in the Recovery Room and in the Intensive Care Unit had been dedicated to chatting with the staff, asking them about their lives, their families, their jobs, and giving each one a coin. Despite the fact he had just had a very serious operation, his love for people had taken over and once again he had made an impact on their lives. How fortunate I am to continually witness the healing power of love being giceived!

TEACHING AND LEARNING

Posted on December 27, 2011 by guest

I have heard that what you teach you get to learn. That is the law of Giceiving in action. I find myself constantly acquiring information, giving it out and then really learning what I have taught. Here’s an example of what I mean.

I was born and raised in Las Vegas by parents who appreciated the natural beauty of the surrounding Mojave Desert mountains, so much so that they would take my sisters and me hiking on weekends about twice a month. Seeing all of the wondrous plants and animals would spark much curiosity in me, but I wouldn’t find out what they were until much later. In school, we never really learned much about our desert, almost as if it wasn’t that important. But ever since then, my curiosity has led me to knowledge I find not only important but could possibly help people worldwide.

Desert knowledge is mostly held by the American Indian cultures that still live in it. Because most have been Americanized and therefore are steadily losing their cultures and languages, there is renewed interest in making sure the essentials don’t get lost forever. These include plant and animal knowledge, procurement of wild foods, and desert technologies. Although in the modern world this type of knowledge is less celebrated, these ancient ways of living are the foundation of any modern civilization and need to be preserved. Lucky for me, I found two very helpful introductory books on the desert lore of Las Vegas: Native Plants of Southern Nevada: an Ethnobotany, and Southern Paiutes: Legends, Lore, Language, and Lineage. Both books have taught me a lot about how life was before American domination, and I feel that if I was ever stranded out there in the desert, I might just be able to survive. But more than just surviving, I want to learn how to apply this new knowledge to my city lifestyle.

In the desert there are hidden gems. For instance, mesquite beans, when cooked right, are sweet as candy and taste almost like chocolate. Prickly pears aren’t the only cactus fruit you can eat, as all cactus fruit are edible, although some are tasteless, and the good tasting ones come in a wide range of flavors, from sour and lemony to sweet and tropical. Barrel cactus fruit are spineless, look like a small pineapple, and can be used as a sour vegetable in pickling; and the seeds, which are enclosed in one area of the fruit, can be ground up and substituted for or added to corn masa in making tortillas. Indian Fig pads are a Mexican vegetable, and Cholla flower buds are high in the nutrients that many industrially produced foods lack. Chia seeds, or “Jello of the desert,” make a refreshing addition to any fruit juice. Indian ricegrass produces a grain that is very high in fiber and protein. Amaranth seeds have certain proteins usually found only in meat, and can be popped like popcorn and made into confectionery treats. Tepary beans, actually native to the Sonoran Desert, are a nuttier tasting substitution for pinto and kidney beans. But the best thing that all of these foods have to offer (besides the great new flavors) are their numerous healthful benefits. Almost all of them are very low on the glycemic index, and many of them release mucilage and soluble fibers that slow down the blood’s absorption of sugars and starches, preventing blood sugar peaks. This makes them perfect foods for people with diabetes.

When I first started learning about the bounty of the desert, I would tell my family and friends about it, but hadn’t really gone out and picked these foods on my own. Well, about two years ago, I was visiting a friend who lives in Phoenix, Arizona, and who has diabetes. I noticed he had a few mesquite trees growing in his front yard and let him know some of the tidbits of information that I described above. He was very impressed, saying “whenever the mesquites would drop their pods, it was a hassle to get rid of them, but I never knew I was throwing away food!” From then on he started picking up mesquite pods and having me come over and sift out the bad ones. Then when I told him about the benefits of prickly pear fruit, he remarked how whenever he walks down the street, the cacti are always so full of fruit, but nobody ever picks them. From then on, he started asking his neighbors whether he could pick their cactus fruit. He had done something that at the time I was somehow unable to do: quickly apply practice to knowledge. I was talking about all of the wonders of native foods, while in reality I wasn’t actually eating them in preference to more unhealthy foods. What helped me change was seeing his satisfaction in eating tasty, healthy, and free food that came from a block away. Ever since then, I have learned how to procure and cook the bounty of the desert. By informing others as to the richness of the desert and its healthy food, I have acquired a healthier and more sustainable lifestyle in my desert city.

By Bobby

HONORABLE GRANDPARENTS

Posted on December 23, 2011 by Mirkalice

Picture it…over half a century ago, a beautiful island in the Caribbean, children playing in an atmosphere of safety, where sugar cane was their candy and luscious tropical fruit, grabbed from a nearby tree, were their snacks. The small town had no jail and no hospital and there were no locks on the doors. This idyllic situation was viewed through a child’s eyes–mine. My days were full of happy, playful times with my brother, as well as many cousins and children who lived nearby. Yet, others may have perceived all this as less than idyllic. My mother had contracted tuberculosis and had gone to a sanitarium in New York, had later been divorced from my father, and had left my brother and me with my grandfather and step-grandmother until she could get her life together. So why was I so happy? I attribute this happiness to the unconditional love I received from my step-grandmother and the sense of security that my grandfather provided.

I believe anyone who really knew my step-grandmother would call her a saint. She took care of my brother and me, and through the years other children in the family as well, as though we were her own. She exhibited so much patience and a sweetness of spirit that just being around her made me feel completely loved, completely whole. What she brought to my life was a solid foundation of love upon which I could stand through many difficult times. Learning the essence of motherhood is another gift she gave that still remains with me. To feel her nurturing love in my heart that I can then extend to my own children makes me aware of the eternal chain created by Giceiving.

My grandfather was a businessman and plantation owner and was considered to be a wealthy man. He definitely was not a saint; yet, he gave me another firm foundation upon which to build my life. He instilled in me a sense of always being provided for. Although I did not know nor would I have understood at that age his view of money, I internalized the concept that when we give, we are taken care of. I remember his generosity not only with his family but our poorer neighbors. I recognized even then that it was unselfish giving–a giving from the heart–and that somehow God would take note of it. This awareness was transmitted to me without my grandfather ever uttering a word. He was not a religious or spiritual man, but by example he taught me the Giceiving principle that has given me a sense of abundance all through my life. By following his example of generosity, when difficult financial times have come, I find that place deep within me that assures me everything is going to be all right…and it has been!

Many blessings and gratitude go out to two of my greatest teachers in life!

Heaven is Near

Posted on December 23, 2011 by Matisun

My stepdad, who lit my mother’s world with love like she had never known, lay dying. I went to Florida to be by his side and help my mom with all that needed to be done and offer whatever strength and love I could. As we sat by his bedside at home, day after day, I was grateful to hold his hand even though he wasn’t conscious. I felt a part of him knew I was there. I was guided to sing to him. Gentle songs flowed through that connected our hearts to one another. In these times heaven seemed so near. The quiet brought an awareness of the sacredness of the moment and though I went to help him and my mom, the gifts I received during this precious time were without measure. I could sense a new world ushering him in. It felt peaceful, beautiful. I was honored to be present as he crossed this threshold to his new life. Strangely enough, even though he was dying, life felt expanded. Something in my heart told me there is more to life that what we can see. I felt a profound love permeate the room. I hadn’t gotten to be present when my own father died. He died alone in a hospital room in the middle of the night. Getting this chance to be with my stepdad was such a gift. It was a privilege to be there for him in his final hours and he in turn was there for me, opening my heart to a whole new world. Thank you, Herb , for this most precious gift. In those miraculous two weeks I got to see on such a deep level that giving truly is receiving.

When Ego Attacks

Posted on November 28, 2011 by guest

To give is to receive, a simple statement probably heard or read by most of the people on this planet at sometime during their life. When hearing or reading this statement, one can feel its truth; but to actualize it or accept its validity, is another matter altogether.

When Mirkalice sent out an email alerting us to the creation of Giceiving Magazine, I visited the web site to check it out. I read all the articles and the introduction and was immediately in distress for I felt a huge resistance to the concept of giving. I explained this to her in a follow up email and how I have always felt I was lacking in my life and therefore always trying to get. At the same time, I did feel that I had experienced Giceiving, the simultaneous giving and receiving Mirkalice describes in the introduction to this site. But to be able to write about it brought up a whole heap of trouble for me.

I was on a recent supply run for our convenience store and I felt as though the devil himself had taken up residence within my chest cavity. I had written about a page of the article for this site and was feeling pretty good about what I had written, but as I reread the article, I began changing some things and began to realize the article wasn’t about Giceiving. It was about giving to get. I left the article in a huff and headed out on my resupply mission. Unfortunately, one of the places I had to go was the place I dislike most on earth – a crowded Wal-Mart. My ego started having a field day with all the manner of humanity in that dungeon of discontent. Every person my eyes lit upon I found a reason to complain about or to judge.

I left the store irritated. I left there and drove to the beer distributor and then took off for home when I ran into a traffic jam. “What is going on now?” I thought. It turned out to be a funeral procession of at least a thousand cars being escorted by the local police department. I couldn’t believe it. As the final cars turned into the cemetery I was able to get clear of the jam and I gunned my truck and sped past them. I hit the end of town a couple of blocks further and cranked the speed up to 70 mph and after about a quarter of a mile I realized I had just passed the Pepsi distributor that I was supposed to stop at and pick up supplies. The Pepsi distribution building is directly opposite the cemetery entrance. That was when I started laughing. I awakened to what was going on. I was in ego rage because I had abandoned writing the article about giving to get, and I had to dig deeper inside to find my true giver. Thank goodness I remembered to laugh.

Why there was such distress at this seemingly simple ability to see the giceiver in me is now understood. The ego does not want us to see our true selves because as we see our true selves we are attracted to that trueness and without conscious awareness, the ego dissipates into the nothingness from which it came. Now that I am at a place of peace I can look inward and see the giceiver. And what I see is the person who is always available to our customers that just need someone to talk to. The outpouring of fear, anger, victimhood, loneliness, or despondency is something I hear often. As I talk to these people and suggest a different way to look at their issues I often see a little light, a sense of hope, come through the fog of their emotions, and I immediately receive the gift I have just given them. The light I see in them is the light that is present in me. A light I cannot see in myself as I am preoccupied with all the external diversions of darkness out there. Helping people lift the veil of darkness from their eyes lifts the veil of darkness from my eyes and the oneness of our being is more of a realization to me. As this realization of oneness grows I see more clearly that what I give, I do receive, simultaneously.

Hal Seeley

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